Sunday, 13 September 2015

Learning to be Disappointed

I've had a creative, productive weekend, playing around in art journals. And along the way, I'm learning how to deal with disappointment. The orange and blue stars page above was one hot mess from start to finish. No matter what I did, I couldn't turn it around to the point where I was happy with it. I've drawn a line under it now. Moved on. 

Which brings me to this page. I decided to work on a piece of card, rather than in a book this time. Working in books was limiting in many ways. My thought is that when I have enough loose pages made, I can bind them into a journal.

And again, I went for something different and I'm still not happy. The best I can say in every page I make, is like Thomas Eddison finding 1000 ways not to make a lightbulb, I'm discovering the many ways not to make an art journal page. This is a bit too cartoonish for my liking.

I'm sure I'll find the style of art that makes me happy. Just haven't found it yet.

Don't read me wrong, I'm enjoying the process. Making the pages is incredibly relaxing and creative. It's the results I have a problem with.

So I'll keep trying. Chopping, changing, rearranging and I'll hit that target. And if I'm brave, I'll share it all on here


Ardyth said...

I don't know much about art journals (not my 'thing') but I think that looks pretty awesome - love the zentangle aspect and the rich colours! I agree with you that enjoying the journey is the important thing!

Richard Pettitt said...

Ah Paul, you're being massively hard on yourself about the results. They look good to me. I have no idea what you were aiming for so I can only go by what I see. And I'm lucky to see these at all. Art journals/sketchbooks are little private laboratories where you can experiment without worrying about the end result. Sometimes you get a monstrosity straight out of Alien 3, sometimes you get an unexpected little gem. The gem to monstrosity ratio seems pretty awful to us because we're our harshest critics, but I guarantee others don't see it that way. Thanks for sharing these, despite how you feel about them. :-)

alexa said...

Your honesty is very cheering and I am sure there'd be many of us who'd be glad to produce something like either of these! The number of times I've whipped a quick thin coat of uneven gesso over something with a roller ... You'd be amazed how much better it looks, and is then ready for something else on top. Keep going - nothing is ever wasted :).

Neet said...

I have thought, many a time, of working on paper/card and binding it all together. I think it is an excellent idea but I also think that a book with errors, dislikes etc in it and a honest evaluation from yourself is as good a learning tool as any. Takes me back to my teaching days when the kids had sketch books for homework and they did their own evaluations in them.. I once even had parents doing the odd one - probably at the end of each term - it really worked so well for the kids and parents alike
Hugs, Neet xx (back from holiday, feeling miserable and cold in the foggy morning but happy that she had her own comfy bed to get a good night's sleep in - think I will stay here today). xx

Shawna Standish said...

The process of art can be a daunting one but Paul your art is fantastic.. Every piece has soul (yes even the orange and blue one) and that is what to be proud of.. I struggle too; I think we all do from time to time.. Some things look terrible but then at the right time you might find the perfect place for it. I think you were smart to change mediums and get out of your norm.. My personal opinion is you are just fantastic and I wouldn't change anything about your work.. Hugs and creative thoughts headed your way..

Carrie Mccarthy said...

I love the blue/orange 'hot mess'. Just found your blog whilst looking for inspiration to get back into my art. Sadly left at the roadside due to starting a full time job and having it sap all creativity out of me! Thanks for being that inspiration!