Telling Objects: Day 31 - The Final One

Happy Halloween!!! Today's object would have been on my list regardless but given that it's there, it felt appropriate to show it today...

It's my guilty pleasure. My love for horror. The photo shows a handful of my DVDs including my all time favourite and by far the scariest film ever made, The Haunting (the BW original that is).

When I was around 10, my parents took us on holiday to Italy. We stayed with friends and one evening, I did as I normally do, and looked over their book shelves. The one which grabbed my interest was The Rats by James Herbert. I  didn't know anything about him or the book at the time, nor it's notoriety. I sat on the bed and got through about half of it before it was discovered what I was up to. There was much fretting as the adult whose book it was, showed concern for all the ahem, sexy scenes, in there. Thankfully, my parents were okay about it.

When I returned to the UK, I started to buy and read the other novels by Mr Herbert. Then I discovered Stephen King and it spiralled from there. At school, I was well known as the boy with the horror fetish. I knew where all the naughty bits were in books too and it gave me a little notoriety. Everyone wanted to read those pages lol. My English teacher was thrilled by the mountain of books I read. He just wished I would improve my taste. Plus, I was a teen when VHS came to the market &  during the Video nasties panic where I had seen most of the banned films (which were pretty dire and of bad quality, rather than nasty).  And I subscribed to an american magazine, Fangoria, which is still going today. I basically lived for Horror. Still do. I read, watched & kept scrapbooks on everything to do with the horror genre. I had ideas of becoming a special effects make up artist or an author.

I always thought I was a lone weirdo for this particular hobby of mine until one day, along came The League of Gentlemen, who just happened to film their creepy series where I lived, in Hadfield. These four guys, my age, grew up and watched and read and were equally addicted to horror. I've read or listened to interviews they've given and nod my head in recognition of their childhoods and inspirations. Yes, I shout at the radio, I used to do that too.  Or I saw that at the same time. Yes I read that classic. I now know I was far from alone.

Nowadays, there's the Horror Channel on TV and I can begin most weekends, eating breakfast and watching a creature feature or serial slasher movie that I've previously taped. Ironically, in real life, I faint at the sight of blood, despite the bucket loads I've seen on screen.

If you've been following these telling objects this month, I hope it's been entertaining. It's certainly been fun to come up with them. It's been a good exercise in finishing something that I start. To be committed and not miss a single day.

It's been a blast. Tomorrow is a new month and different challenges await.

Till Next Time

Px

Telling Objects: Day 30

Only two objects left to go! Can you believe it's nearly the end of the month? That it's so much nearer to the festive season? Nor can I. Anyway let's not run away with ourselves. There's still today! And for that my object has a religious tone to it...

...it has St Christopher on one side and Jesus on a cross on the other. I'm not religious, by the way. Not in any formal sense. I was christened Church of England when I was a wee boy and that's my religious history beginning & end. But this cross, to be worn around the neck, is a gift from a special lady and I treasure it.

When I was 18, I studied for my first year of A Levels at Upper School, rather than college. And we had the choice, in our timetables, to do sport or community service. Hello? Need you ask? So I became the gardener for a little old lady called Anne Grace. Over time, the hours spent gardening dwindled and the ones spent sipping tea, listening to her tales of India, increased. I was still doing my job, it just changed to that of friendship. She had few visitors other than family & I was a willing ear to chat to. Even with about fifty years age difference between us, we became firm friends.

Anyways, it was during this time, I finally passed my driving test (and that is a tale all by itself but for another day). And to congratulate me, Anne dipped into the few pennies she had and bought me this St Christopher. It never left my neck for the next few years. And when I stopped wearing it, I carefully placed it in a box and there it stays. One photo and one gift are all I have now to link me back to Anne and the memories they bring back. I'm a sentimental sod I know.

Until tomorrow

Px

Telling Objects: Day 29

DON'T PANIC! No animal was hurt in the acquisition of today's object. You should know better than that by now. Yup! It's another found object. And no, not on the head of Bambi...

Well, thinking about it, more like Bambi's dad. This was found on the grounds of a park where deer roam free and yes we asked permission to keep it. So now it hangs from a picture rail in the guest room / office. Well a whole deer's head on a plaque is repulsive and offensive but an impressive antler which has been shed, is rather a magnificent piece of wall decoration. No one can hold a candle to Mother Nature when it comes to aesthetics.

Until tomorrow

Px

Telling Objects: Day 28

Today is an everyday object, as in you'll probably see one every day and we use it in our home for an everyday purpose. But you don't normally see one of these being used in quite the same fashion that we do...

It's a cat's eye. Except you won't find this one lurking beneath tarmac in the centre of a road. Instead  you'll find it as a very heavy, doorstop which has a wicked way of stubbing toes when you're walking about in the dark (ironically).

Agreed, it's not what the average household has lying around the place, ready to prop open doors but that's what comes from living with an engineer. But then, I like having it around. It's different. it's quirky and it's not easy to come by. You can't buy one at the local supermarket. You can't even steal them. Well, not with ease. And in a home as eclectically festooned as ours, it fits right in.

Until tomorrow

Px

Telling Objects: Day 27

Last of the technology objects today. You know that I posted I was a Mac kinda guy before. Well, I am in all but one respect. My choice of mobile phone...

...my Nokia brick. It's a hardy beast that I've had for a fair few years now. It still works extremely well and doesn't have a problem getting a signal, unless I truly am out in the sticks somewhere.

Nowadays, I use it (albeit still rarely by most people's standards) to send and receive text messages. In fact I can't recall the last time I actually spoke to someone on the other end. I'm loathe to switch it on and see it more as a tool for sending messages rather than receiving. I have it on me purely for emergencies, say if my car breaks down & I need to call the AA.

And as I sit on a bench, looking at all the people sat on the train in front of me, every single one with head bowed, squinting at small boxes, and I walk down the street, witnessing the same, I feel like I've woken up to discover the world has turned into zombies. Their choice of course. But I'm a luddite when it comes to phones. When I leave the house, I can't be contacted. I'm not there for anyone and everyone 24 hours a day. I'm a bit like my choice of phone. A dinosaur. But then, the alternative is to become like the teenagers of yesteryear who wouldn't hang up the phone and could talk nonsense for hours on end. Been there, done that. Not going back :)

Until tomorrow

Px

Telling Objects: Day 26

It's gadget time again. In fact, it's a bit of technology that I was late to come to but once I fell under its spell, was hooked in an instant...

I'm referring to my Kindle. Now as a lifelong bookworm whose spiritual home is in any bookstore, I, along with many other book lovers, poo-pooed the Kindle when it was first launched. Nothing would tear me away from the touch, smell and feel of a well thumbed paperback. But then I started to hear some very positive murmurings from those who already owned one. Soon, I was tempted too.

And from the moment it was charged up, I've hardly put it down. Yes, I still love my paperbacks but it will appal some of you (it does me) but actually if given a choice between buying a paperback or Kindle version, I'd go for Kindle. I love that when I see a book I want online, I can have it NOW! And I tell you what else I love. And it's a sign of my age. It's that you can increase the font size. I don't have to remember to carry my reading glasses around with me.

Oh yes, and my bookshelves, which are already groaning are not collapsing under the weight of my purchases. Nor do I need to pack a whole extra suitcase for travelling (on my only trip to South Africa, half my suitcase's content was books - well it was a hot country, who needed clothes?).

Until tomorrow

Px

Add on for Telling Objects 25

Just a quickie to show you my very first style of Mac. It was a tiny box of a thing. I used to carry it in a bag to and from work every night

Wish I still had it. sigh...


Pxx

Telling Objects: Day 25

The world is split into two camps. There are those who spend their days on PCs living joyless lives. And then there's the rest of us. The ones who own Macs.

Apple is cool again but it hasn't always been that way. And, I've been one of the guys whose stuck with them through thick and thin. They were the very first brand of computer I worked with. Back then, it was designed as a cube and had a slot to insert floppies.  Then we moved onto monitors with separate computers, keyboards and mice. At the time, I was working on both. PCs were best for admin but the Macs, they were essential for the creative side of the business. When everyone was rushing out to hug their PCs, we designers, photographers and anyone else in a creative business, clung to our Macs.

Finally, with a tweak to their image and brand, Macs became cool again. And like a lot of present day Mac owners, I'm very precious about my i-gadgets. I'd be lost without them. Cool or uncool, I'll always have a Mac on my desk.

Until tomorrow

Px

Telling Objects: Day 24

Today's object is a chap I've mentioned before. In fact, I introduced him through a sketch I posted back in August here.

Yup, it's my teddy bear. Frayed, worn and shabby and as old as me. I couldn't document a month's worth of objects and not include him. He is, after all, my very first possession. And I know I'm not the only adult to still have their childhood teddy. Friends & acquaintances alike have all told me that theirs is still around and loved. Even my beautiful grown up goddaughter keeps cose to hand, Pink Pink, the teddy I bought her. And thanks to the brilliant artist, Grayson Perry, who's teddy, Alan Measles has been a muse for his art, there have been other famous names opening up about their cuddly companions. See here for instance. Alan even has his own twitter account and blog.

Now excuse me, I need to go and cuddle my bear for an hour or two and forget there's a big, nasty world out there.

Until tomorrow

Px

Telling Objects: Day 23

I had thought about tidying up today's object before photographing it. Or perhaps showing a fresh, unused one. Then I changed my mind. Because it never looks like that for long. People should see it in all it's messy glory. After all, people have come out of our bathroom and asked why on earth there's an onion bhaji sitting on the edge of the bath.

Far from being a snack left behind after a long bathe, it is, in fact, a hair cleansing bar from the handmade cosmetics shop Lush called the Soak and Float. Now even they admit that it doesn't have the most aesthetic of appearances nor is it the nicest smelling item they sell. But it does its job and does it extremely well. It's just that it looks like something you'd buy from a deli after a couple of uses and ends up a mess in the soap dish.

So if you do happen to find yourself visiting our home and using the facilities, please refrain from treating the shampoo bar as a savoury snack. Thank you.

Until tomorrow

Px

Telling Objects: Day 22

Today's object is proper found art. Yes, here I go again with the freebie/magpie fetish again. However I do really mean, in quite a literal sense, that it's found art. We found it. And it's hanging on our wall as a piece of abstract art...

We took a walk into the surrounding countryside of the Peak District, where, in a secluded spot, just behind a bridge, was evidence left behind of a car which had been set aflame. The vehicle itself had long since  been towed away but there was plenty of debris still left behind. Including this misshapen block of cooled, once-molten, metal. I couldn't tell you which bit of the car this comes from, but it obviously went liquid in the blaze and cooled into a rather fetching blob.

It's about the length of an average adult arm, long and snake like in shape and though it has quite some weight to it, was easy enough to smuggle into a rucsac and take home. It now hangs on a wall to be met with intrigue by any passing guests who happen to espy it. It's definitely a worthy talking point. Personally, I like to think that it's our contribution (or hommage) to the Dadaist movement. And you know what? It wouldn't look out of place if it was indeed hanging in Saatchi's gallery.

Until tomorrow

Px

Telling Objects: Day 21

Not the most telling choice of my chosen objects this month. It's round, it's glass and it's an ornament. What more can I say about it really?

Well it was a present for my 40th. Actually, my present was a trip to Boulogne to stay in a wonderful hotel and eat Fruit de Mer at my favourite restaurant. But Nick wanted to buy me something tangible too. At the time, I hadn't a clue (if I was asked today, I'd come up with a hundred suggestions) but we went trolling of to the shops and this was what I pointed out. Well, at the time, I was quite taken by black glass bowls and thought this would compliment my collection. And nowadays it holds a rather fetching dead flower head.

Until tomorrow

Px

Telling Objects: Day 20

This object is a charity shop find. I don't usually trawl them for household items. But I do love to discover something I can transform and make some sort of art with. However, on this one occasion, I made an exception...

...for a key holder. And it wasn't an easy sell. To Nick that is. I loved it. But Nick doesn't like objects which are word based. Too kitsch for his taste. I disagree. But then, I have no problem with kitsch, when done right.

My solution, as a compromise, was to paint it the same cream colour as the wall it was to go on. We had some leftover in the cellar, so it was a doddle to match up. This meant it blended and was almost camouflaged. The subtlety won him over.

Trouble is, we then went and had the whole house painted white. However, he'd grown used to it by then and well, it is handy. He does at least know where to find his keys these days.

Gotta love those charity shops.

Until tomorrow

Px

Telling Objects: Day 19

You may have seen this object before. It made an appearance in one of my holiday posts a year or so ago. I may have found him in a local store but he ended up travelling to Paris with us...

It's Bigfoot! I've photoshopped the piccie but in real life he is a full on, bright pink, fun fur covered cutie.  He's about the size of a large grapefruit, with a giant plastic foot and has the unfortunate ability to shed his fur everywhere. And yes, you may have seen him as part of the scrapbook layouts made for our trip to Paris in 2011.

The idea was to photograph him around the capital, in front of all the attractions we visited. A nice idea but not one we stuck rigidly to. It became too troublesome to have to keep mopping the pink fur out of our rucsacs.

However, I shall always remember the time we took the bus from our hotel to the centre of Paris. It was crammed with French commuters, on their way to work & there we were, two nutty english guys, placing a pink toy on one of the seats and trying to photograph it, as the bus swerved and swayed through the busy streets. Let's say we made their day. They all spoke to us and laughed along and it was a terrific way to make friends. Don't let anyone tell you the French have no sense of humour.

Especially when the englishmen they meet are acting eccentric and old enough to know better.

Until tomorrow

Px

Telling Objects: Day 18

Today I'm going to talk about addiction. One member of this household has a serious habit and one that is catered to on a regular basis. And the object? The jar containing the troublesome herb...

...for yes, inside this tiny jar, is enough catnip to keep our feline companion off his trolley for a month. We do have it growing fresh in the garden which is adored not only by our pet but by all the neighbouring cats. But though enjoyed, it's not the good stuff. The powerful stuff.

No, that's the dried variety we buy from the pet store. And roughly at about 9pm each evening, paws and claws seek our attention. Once he has our attention, it means one of three things. If he trots off in the direction of the kitchen, it's food, towards the french windows, to be let out or if lead to his scratching post, it's the contents of this jar.

A little is poured out onto the base of the scratching toy. It is then licked, rolled around in and consumed until we have one happy, blissed out cat on our hands. One day, an intervention may have to be called for. In the meantime, we keep a large bag of it around.

Until tomorrow

Px

Telling Objects: Day 17

Today I'm sharing a sentimental object. It's also one I designed and was handmade for me by a family friend  It's small, gold, supposed to adorn my finger but instead is kept safely tucked away...

This is a 21st birthday present from my parents. There is another piece, a dove, to be worn on a necklace, again designed by me. Well, that was the condition of the gift. I had to come up with the designs and a lovely guy, a friend of my parents, who made jewellery for a hobby, would make them.

It's not overly obvious from the photo but it's a broken heart, shaded on one side, with symbols representing male and female. In my pretentious, art-student head, I was trying to convey that black, white, boy or girl, the broken heart is stitched together with a 'equal' symbol. In other words, equality will hold us together. Well it was different from everyone else who wore CND badges. The dove of peace, the other item of jewellery, was in the same 'politically correct' vein. I was active in Amnesty International at the time so it all tied in. But hey, aren't we all a little bit more right-on and radical at that age? Where does that anger & indignation go as we age?

Until tomorrow

Px

Telling Objects: Day 16

Indulge me dear readers, for I've gone out into the garden again for today's object and this one I most definitely do not have in the house...

Tucked away in the back of the garden, next to our compost heaps (yes we try to do our bit for the planet) we keep a few more pets. In addition to our cat, frogs, toads and newts, there's our wormery. And the little wrigglers are looked after and cared for just like every other critter (bar slugs and snails) that cross our threshold.

I'm not sure if it's clear from the photo, but the wormery has four compartments and a lid. The idea is to feed the worms with food related garbage in the top layer and then, when it's full, move it down.  The added bonus is the watery fertiliser which collects in the bottom ready to be drained into a watering can via a tap and sprinkled onto the garden.

Nothing is wasted here.

Until tomorrow

Px

Telling Objects: Day 15

It's roughly the half way point and today I show another collection of objects and reveal more of my magpie tendencies...

Hidden away in a corner of our house sits a tall jar. Inside, is something banks are not keen on at all - coins. Nothing major. Mostly coppers. The only exceptions are found money. So there are occasional pound coins in there but they are very rare additions.

And the magpie nature? Well, I have it in my head that rarely a day goes by when I don't find a coin. Even if it's only a penny, I snaffle it, to add to my jar. Plus, I have a mini-ritual. When I pick it up, it goes into the back right hand pocket of the trousers I'm wearing and I pat the pocket once. Every time.

Well, at half time, I'm learning quite a bit so far whilst documenting objects this month. I hadn't realised how much of a magpie/hoarder/collector I was (delete as appropriate). Nor how much of my 'stuff' was free. Nor how many rituals I have. I'm obviously a creature of habit and love to have routine. Who knew?

Until tomorrow

Px

Telling Objects: Day 14

Today's object can perhaps be stretched to two. It hangs from a tiny bulldog clip, on my large, cork note-board in the art room. And, well it has something clinging to it which I'd better explain as well...

It's a postcard given to me by my wonderful friend, Neet. She bought it when I showed her around the Manchester Art Gallery. It depicts one of my favourite exhbits the building displays. A painting of Shakespeare's Ophelia. I'm drawn to the arm of all things. You can't see it in the postcard, but you can see where the original arm was painted, scrubbed out (badly) and done again. There's a shadow which shows where it was.  It's that imperfection that I love.

And the plastic skeleton hands? I've had these since I was a child. They glow in the dark. Some things just seem to stay in my life and this is one of them. And that's what noticeboards are for. To hang the miscellany of life. In fact, out of shot, to the left, is dangling a necklace, with a miniature birdcage hanging from it.

Until tomorrow

Px

Telling Objects: Day 13

Day 13! Unlucky for some. Well today, I'm wearing my object, as I type. They need a bit of a clean as everything seems a bit foggy. Or maybe I just need ones that are stronger. Hang on, I'll just reach for a hanky...

That's better. no more smears. Because today, my object is a sign of my decline into old age. Since hitting my forties, my poor eyes need a little assistance. I need reading glasses. Nothing too strong. The lowest strength available.

As a lifelong bookworm, these old eyes of mine have devoured many a typed word. I've ignored all warnings about reading in the dark etc. I can still hear my mother's nagging tone when I'm reading a book in a darkened corner. But it hasn't harmed me. My eyesight is normal for someone my age. A little wear and tear is expected.

The only downside is the trip to the opticians and having to man up for the jet of air test. The willpower I need, not to blink, when that short, sharp, burst of air is blasted at my naked eyeball, is a feat of strength in itself. I'm a blinker. I hold my hands up and confess.

Another test is due soon. Maybe this will be the time when I walk away looking like Mr Magoo.

Until tomorrow

Px